Warriors Of The Light Part 1

There is so much chaos,untruthfulness,hatred,and just general 'darkness' in today's society. It is difficult to be a person of the light when that is not always valued or appreciated. It's easier to just give in to the darkness. Darkness is ignorance while overtime destroys. Light is truthfulness, honor, compassion, real love,etc. While darkness destroys light creates & sustains. We need to be a force of light. In a darkroom one light such as a candle or flashlight extinguishes the darkness so similarly we can affect those around us by how we live our lives.
To be a strong we have to rid ourselves of the darkness within us. We all have to some extent to name a few qualities avarice/greed, malice, the desire for power/fame/recognition, envy, & pride. As warriors of the light we need to recognize we also have those same tendencies but that does not mean we just let them have free range. Whatever we focus we give it power and it grows & develops. If we develop our light than it will starve out the darkness. Its important that we just are not suppressing but replacing the negative or dark quality with its positive counter part because then the change will be lasting.

At time it might appear that the darkness is winning but do not be discouraged. If we are genuine than other people will be affected by it. People will start to notice the difference and they will want to know how are you so calm in the chaos.Keep the faith.

Life Changing Decisions

Heres what I know we all have to make our own mistakes. No matter what anyone says that fact will not change. What makes a difference is what you do with it. You can spend your life saying I am a victim because it was someone elses fault that I chose the route I took or you can own it, learn from it and grow from it. I was a very young mother and many people looked at me and said I ruined my life. But let me tell you something yes it was hard and I made a lot of mistakes. I gave up my youth, I gave up proms and dances and high school graduation. But what I gained was a love so unconditional and heart that grew leaps and bounds because it focused on a child who needed and loved me. I'm not saying that every teenager should go out and have a baby but what I am saying is that if you have already done that learn and grow from it because ultimatly at this point that is the best thing you can do for both of you. There are very few mistakes but many oppurtunity's for growth.

Moisturize Moisturize Moisturize

This I know. This very small investment in your skin will pay off as you age. I know you are thinking, "I'm young and fabulous now why should I do this?" The reason you should do this is because, contrary to popular belief, we all age, and our skin is something we can actually affect by doing this one little thing. When I was young I knew two older women of similar ages: one who had many wrinkles and one who did not. The one who did not have many wrinkles was a daily user of moisturizer. The reason I know this is not because I cared enough to ask but because I saw a little bottle of moisturizer in her bathroom. I didn't put 2 and 2 together at first, but years later as I was thinking about the differences in these 2 women, I realized that the moisturizer was her little secret.  I started talking to other women, and lo and behold, most of them knew this little secret. So I have made it my quest in life to share this valuable tip every time I get a chance. The perfect way to apply moisturizer is to wash your face, pat it dry, then before your skin is completely dry, apply your moisturizer. This will help hold in the moisture and help your skin to remain supple. The moisturizer does not need to be expensive. In fact, it can be a generic brand. The trick is just to do it.

Responsibility

Here's what I know. A women takes responsibility for her words, & actions. That's being an adult. Being responsible is being somewhere when you say you will. It is following through when you tell someone you can do something. It is also recognizing your shortcomings as a human being(which i could write a whole blog about). It's being able to sincerely apologize when you are 'in the wrong'. It's also taking care of those who depend on you including animals.There are more ways,words & actions that demonstrate responsibility but who wants to read a blog just about examples of responsibility.

How do we learn responsibility?By being accountable. As children we are accountable to our parents,then it expands to our teachers, then circle grows to include your friends,after college it expands to include your boss & then the circle grows again to include your spouse/partner. I think its also important that we are accountable to ourselves first.

Being responsible is not always fun,but personally I think it's essential to ultimately being happy and coexisting with others. We are not alone on this planet so its foolish to think our actions/words does not affect others. If everyone showed responsibility in their words & actions than the situation in earth would improve.

Youth Wasted

So much time is wasted in our youth being angry and making hasty decisions out of anger. If you have unresolved arguments..resolve them..now. You never want the last thing you hear from a dear friend to be "fine I guess I'll never see you again" only to attend their funeral in 12 years time knowing the truth behind those harsh words. You never want to attend said funeral and have to explain to people that should know you, who you are and why you matter, because a long time ago you were angry and you were scared and you left and you didn't ask for help or guidance or counselling. Life gets dark and black and when you are young, the pain of relationships ending  seems to be ten fold. Your friends will  re write your social history with rose tinted glasses and make themselves out to be the heroes. So what do you do? You continue to keep in touch. You send birthday cards and letters and pictures. You remind the people that you love that you do have a pulse and you do have worth and you do matter and you go on and you live your life and you forget the people that dragged you down. Right, got that? Write it down. You were never fat, your skin was fine. You were/are funny, beautiful, talented and full of love. If they missed that, screw them. If you missed that, get it back. It's worth everything.

Compassion

Here's what I know. You are not the only one who feels the way you do. Every emotion you have had someone else has had as well. The key is to remember this when dealing with other people. It's so easy to judge that person who has said something you didn't like or made you feel small and insignificant. But the fact is they have felt the same way. Someone has belittled them or hurt them in some real or imagined way. Either way you have a choice. You can get angry and strike back or you can stop and ask yourself  what is going on in their world that has made them angry, bitter or just plain mean. I assure you they weren't born that way.
Someone has hurt them just like you felt hurt when they did or said the thing that made you feel bad. For your own well being, take a moment to think before you respond. Only you can choose to be angry and strike back or not.

Men will not MAKE you happy

I walked into a classroom at lunchtime yesterday where some of my girl students were hanging out and watching videos.  All of them were transfixed, singing along to some R&B love jam (a woman singing about how much she loved her man) and clearly in some far off fantasy land.

I rolled my eyes. So did all the other grown women in the room. As one of them said best, "Love is HIGHLY overrated."

Now let me be clear. I'm not an "I don't need a man!" woman. In fact, I really value men as protectors, providers, problem solvers and sources of endless entertainment. Sources of happiness, though? Come on. Not so much.

It's almost a cruel joke what I see playing out in front of my eyes. These 12-year-old girls pour practically all of their life energy into the dream of some fantastical, magical love. I want to shake them and say that at best it will result in about a tenth of your life spent picking up dirty socks, at worst it will result in you as a single mom bawling in the parking lot as you drop your 8-week-old infant off at daycare. At best a lot of nights alone because he's working late; at worst asking your parents for money because he's unemployed again.  At best a life where you find your husband attractive, you really do, but you spend more time than you should flirting with the cashier at Whole Foods; at worst, some emotional roller coaster where you're constantly hacking into his email account and checking his pockets.

Do I think men are bad? No. Do I think they are human beings who are by nature complex, difficult, subject to whim, and full of baggage? Absolutely. Do your best to find a good one. Build a life around him. But, for goodness sake, don't expect him to be the source of your happiness. Human beings disappoint each other. That's kind of our thing. So agreeing to only be happy when they do what you want them to do and miserable when they don't guarantees you a steady diet of disappointment. And a steady diet of disappointment is bad for your heart, your temperament, your waistline and your skin.

Basically I'm saying that being unhappy because you don't have a man or you have one that disappoints you is a bad look. So, if for no other reason than vanity, you should stop it immediately.

You alone are and always will be responsible for your happiness.